Since I had to give birth via stat CS, Damien was wheeled to the nursery after the Unang Yakap was done on us and I was being stitched up. I was back in our room at around 3 in the morning and I was still a little doozy, awake but quite doozy. Laurence wanted to make sure that I get enough sleep because he needed the sleep as well, we've been in labor since 2pm the day before and I knew he was very tired. I was quite worried since I wanted to make sure that Damien would get my colostrum but I rested my eyes and got a few hours of sleep.
At 8am, my nurse told me that I needed to go to the breastfeeding room to be able to see Damien. I didn't think twice, I stood up and slowly walked to the breastfeeding room a few meters away from the nursery...yes, with IV and catheter in tow. I just wanted to see Damien again. The nurse told me that he just finished feeding so he might not want to latch onto me immediately, but since I made sure that he went through wet nursing...I was confident that latching for him was not an issue. I just wanted to smell him, to be honest! And I wanted to see him again...I only got to see him for a few minutes since I was in and out of consciousness when the Unang Yakap was done. But I remembered his face so clearly...for someone who was in and out during the operation, I had a good memory of how my baby looked like!
It around lunchtime when Damien was finally roomed-in with us. He was still full since he was just fed but the nurse-in-charge told me that he's not a fussy baby. He was quick in latching and would just cry out when hungry or uncomfortable. In my mind, 'Any baby would be fussy once he's out to this noisy world...' So, I knew that cuddling and making sure that he could sense my presence was top priority for me.
During our three-day stay in the hospital, it wasn't a walk in the park for us. He did latch but he wasn't as comfortable as he would like to be. I was still recovering from my C-section so I couldn't really move as much as I would like so he would sleep in our arms...little did we know that he wanted to latch and sleep at the same time. I guess everything was totally new and unexpected for Laurence and I. I wanted to go home and be comfortable in my own space but we needed to spend one more night since Damien's temperature spiked up to 37.7...hence, the third day in the hospital.
As soon as we got home, breastfeeding him was a little easier since I could do it in my own space where we were all familiar with. Our dogs even understood what was happening and lessened their fussiness as well, hardly any barks and they were right outside our door, waiting for something to happen to call out my parents' attention. I mastered the football hold because of my scar but we managed breastfeeding one day at a time. I was so determined to breastfeed...and my parents were as well so they cooked as much soup (malunggay and imbao) to help me with my supply.
Everybody around me was glad that I chose breastfeeding...I also found out on our own that it was the most hassle-free choice as well. I didn't need to prepare or sterilize anything...just pull up my shirt and Damien would start rooting like mad. It was around two weeks later that we mastered the side-lying position, by then I was more comfortable with my scar and I wasn't in too much pain.
Damien's already 8 months and 14 days as of writing and is still exclusively and directly breastfeeding...he has already started semi-solids when he was around 6 months but he refused the bottle for water, even the sippy spout as well. We resorted to cup feeding him water, to which he took very well.
Though my wardrobe has been limited to nursing wear or button-down tops, I never regretted my decision to breastfeed my boy. It was really more of an economical push as well that led me to really be an advocate. People say that I quickly got back to my pre-pregnancy weight because of breastfeeding, that's true. I could eat anything and everything I want since the calories would shed off quickly because of breastfeeding. But I'm also thankful that I chose breastfeeding since I was more conscious of what I was eating. Anything that I ate was going straight to Damien so I needed to choose well. I haven't taken any caffeine since I got pregnant and have maintained that until today. I love that I've been healthier since then.
I was asked during one La Leche League meet-up, "How long do you plan to breastfeed?" If I had the choice, I wish that I could be able to give as much milk to Damien and to other babies as long as I can. But that's not my choice...Damien has the last call if he'd still be willing to feed from me or if he's strong enough to let go and choose to feed from a glass (with expressed breastmilk, of course!). I don't think it'll reach to 4 years old (the average age of weaning worldwide) but I hope that I am brave enough to face that reality one day.
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