Child Safety Harness: To Use or Not To Use?

A couple of days ago, I was looking through my Facebook newsfeed and noticed a former trainee of mine with a status about a toddler who is missing. My heart quickly skipped a couple of beats and looked through her timeline and found out that her niece was abducted from a local mall a few hours ago and still no updates. My heart sank further as I looked back at my newsfeed yesterday, it's been 24 hours since the toddler was lost and still no news. I posted the photo in the page that I'm managing for our playgroup and all the other local groups that I can think of.

It's every parent's nightmare, losing their child. One cannot imagine the pain and guilt that a parent or caretaker feels when it is their sole job to take care of the child. I shudder to think of the day that I would personally know the child...because my heart is already breaking for the situation at hand, and I don't know the child personally. I then looked at the possibility of a group centering at abducting children and what they would do with the children. Child trafficking has been a common thing but never in this city...Davao City is known is to be safe, and yet...this happened!

I told L last night about the situation and he, himself, was worried. He told me that D was not to go to any public places in the next few weeks, unless he is there with us. I looked at the calendar and checked D's social calendar...so far, the only place we go to weekly is at The POD for the playgroup, and he's gonna be absent for two weeks because he's still recovering from his circumcision. So, no mall trips for the next week or so.

I then got to thinking, I've been seeing parents use the child safety harness on their toddlers. Yes, I will admit, I am one of those people who swore that they will not be saying things like "Because I said so..." or who will be using such harnesses because I didn't feel the need for it. Well, I'm contemplating of purchasing one for D. Now, I could really care less about stares and side comments from people because I care more about D's safety. And to be honest, it is quite helpful especially if the toddler doesn't like to be strapped in the stroller or who doesn't want to hold one's hand when they enter the mall. It gives them a certain freedom but knowing that the parent or caretaker still has a hold on them.

Of course, the downside would be if the harness is used as a leash and dragging the toddler somewhere or pulling them because they're not following instructions. I've learned that in order to understand D, I need to communicate with him at his level. I would get down to his eye level and talk to him, he may answer in babbles and mumbles that would take me forever to understand but we're communicating. I'm not dictating or just telling him because I'm the parent. I've fully understood that D is a human being who wants things and wants to be understood and as the parent, I need to be more open to that than just telling him to do things because it needs to be done. Trust me, I'm not as patient as other people but I have managed to stretch whatever patience I have since becoming a mother.

So...what are your thoughts about using a child safety harness?

Early Circumcision: An Important Health Choice

In our culture, circumcision is deemed a rite of passage to any boy who would like to be taken more seriously, or at least not teased in school. Ask any father who has gone through it and they will always say it was a choice that they needed to do because it was how the norm was. It is usually done during the summer season so that the recovery time would be longer and it's usually the "season" for such rituals.

When I gave birth to D, or when we found out that we were having a boy, I was quite aware of newborn circumcision and was hoping to have it done. L told me that he would want D to go through the process of making the decision as to when it will be done so that he, too, will have the rite of passage into manhood. I was supportive and agreed with him though I wasn't as aware as to how such would be done. I have a younger sister and my brother's 8 years older than me so when I was born, he's done with his rite of passage.

When D was diagnosed with phimosis, early circumcision was needed to prevent his UTI from recurring. So, we made the decision to have him undergo the procedure as soon as possible. I wasn't as nervous because I've gone through several operations myself, being born cleft and palate, and was aware of how operations would go. And since it was going to be a short procedure, D's pedia (Doc Monna) and our family friend and anesthesiologist (Doc Jean) were nice enough to assure us that it will be quick. Since D is 18 months when the procedure is done, topical anesthesia cannot be done since he will be very mobile so he will be under general anesthesia during the quick procedure. We got Doc Jean to recommend a surgeon to do the procedure.

L and I talked about who was going to be with D in the OR during the procedure. Honestly, it would be my first time in the OR (where I'm not the patient) and it will be L's second time, after my CS, for him. He told me that I should be the one with D so that I would be aware as to how circumcision is done. Yes, I'm not really aware as to how it's done...I've seen videos and diagrams but actual is not something I would like to see but yes, he has a point. If we have another son then it would be ideal that I also be aware so that we can make the necessary decision of newborn circumcision since phimosis could be genetic. If D was born with it and he'd have a younger brother, he might have it as well.

D went through the usual pre-op labs (CBC platelet and chest x-ray), we even had a difficult time getting the results because we had to wait for a few hours and then we would miss out on the clinic hours of the surgeon. It was postponed until D's x-ray findings were clear (first reading was right basal pneumonia, second reading was all clear). I went to Dr. Monteverde's clinic last Monday (February 3) to meet him and explain the situation at hand. He looks such a calm and cool surgeon and that made me more at ease with the upcoming procedure. What took my by surprise was that D wouldn't be under general anesthesia (like what the pedia explained it was going to be) but just a plain circumcision where he will be wide awake. I was a little hesitant because I knew the strength that D has, imagine the Incredible Hulk but cuter. Dr. Tom was very casual and told me that it'll be fine and it'll be done more quickly. I texted Dr. Jean and she said she'll be on standby in case of an SOS. So, the schedule was February 4 at 10AM at the outpatient department of Brokenshire.

The procedure was quick and easy and I appreciated that Dr. Tom was able to explain to us each step that he would take. It was also great that he was teaching an ER doctor (who hasn't done a phimotic circumcision on a toddler) how to do it as well. D was (naturally) screaming and crying during the duration because he was being pinned down, but halfway through the procedure he fell asleep and we were all able to relax our grip on him. L had to step out about 10 minutes into the procedure because he couldn't take D's crying and screams. I wasn't aware about it until we had dinner last night and I asked him where he went. I guess when you have gone through the same procedure and you hear your own son crying, it's never the easiest on the dads.

Now that it's been more than 24 hours since the procedure, I don't think there's any pain though he was prescribed to take mefenamic for 5 days. He is quite aware that he's got something healing below the belt and yes, it was hastened the potty training for the family.

Did I have second thoughts about letting D go through such a procedure at 18 months? No.

Would I do it to my second son, if we were given another boy? Well, newborn circumcision is something that L and I feel strongly about especially if he is phimotic.

We decided on early circumcision on D because it was an important health choice. Amidst the norm and culture that we hold in our society, it is something that L and I needed to decide on instead of given D the free reign. But yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat...